what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
