...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
