in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
