I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Shame - the story of my life.
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