Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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