What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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