with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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