You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
