Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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