If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
