evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
