My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
