And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
