Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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