i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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