is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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