i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
so let's talk penis.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Rumble strips road head = magical
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
