Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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