It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Randomize
