everyone is single if you try hard enough
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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