I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
