I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
