She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
