Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
