I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
