She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Randomize
