I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
