Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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