break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
