I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
