Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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