I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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