I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
