she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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