we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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