were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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