If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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