Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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