the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
