True but thats because hes a fetus.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
A+ Viking dick
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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