I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
