My friends, they love my intelligence
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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