Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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