so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
