We're facebook friends in real life
he puts the penis in happiness.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
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