We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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