i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
