Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
