i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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