ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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