On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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