I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
