We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize