I want to have your abortion
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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