Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
