There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
A bitchslap is in order.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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