Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He? As in you personified your dick?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
