Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
