How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
