I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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