Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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