haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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