You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Are we still banned from the library?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I want to be your penis for a week.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
