Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
