"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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