you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
